Hilarious Ways to Respond When Somone Say “What Are You Doing?”

Have you ever been bored at home alone, doing absolutely nothing of significance, when someone texts or calls you asking “What are you doing?” It can be a weird conversation starter since the truthful answer is usually “Not much.”

As an experienced communicator who has been in this position many times, I’ve developed some funny responses that can lighten the mood and distract the other person from the fact that you’re currently unoccupied. In this blog post, I’ll share my top 18 favorite witty ways to reply to “What are you doing?” that are sure to provide a chuckle.

Quick Responses:

Don’t want to read the full blog? here are some quick responses for you:

• Defusing a bomb in the kitchen sink is no big deal!
• Researching how to train raccoons as a heist crew.
• People watching outside with my binoculars, I mean…curtains.
• Perfecting my hacky sack skills…with this bag of flour. Wish me luck!
• Reenacting scenes from Toy Story with my collection of dust bunnies.
• Mapping escape routes in case the neighbors realize I drank their milk again.
• Practicing my villain cackle. Soon the world will be mine!!! maniacal laughter
• Updating my resume with increasingly outlandish abilities like “proficient in the ancient art of shadow puppetry.”
• Debating whether I should start a posh accented ASMR channel called “Earl Grey and Crumpets”.
• Commissioning tiny suits of armor for my army of household sponges.
• Mixing potions from expired food ingredients, I call it “science juice”!

Living My Best Thot Life

When asked what you’re doing, respond with “Living my best thot life” (thot is slang for “that ho over there”). This response implies you’re embracing your inner free spirit and not letting societal constraints hold you back. It’s a humorous way to say you’re just relaxing and doing your own thing. Be warned, some may not find the thot reference appropriate, so use discretion based on your relationship with the question asker.

Planning World Domination

Got big dreams and even bigger plans? Jokingly say you’re “planning world domination.” This response suggests you’re scheming up ambitious goals while keeping things lighthearted. You can even add some colorful details about your hypothesized domination strategies to sum it up. Just be sure not to include any genuinely concerning threats – you want people to laugh with you, not at you!

Combing My Leg Hair

For a truly off-putting visual, quip that you’re “combing my leg hair.” Guaranteed to make the other person recoil in bemused disgust! Leg hair is not usually something people openly discuss, let alone manipulate. So this absurd image of you intently grooming your leg fuzz is sure to elicit confusion, grimace, and perhaps even reluctant laughter at your absurd non-answer. Use sparingly and only with close friends who appreciate your dark sense of humor.

Meditating on the True Nature of Reality

Pretend to be ultra-spiritual and meditative by responding with something like “I’m meditating on the true nature of reality, maaaan.” The drawn-out “maaan” lends a stereotypical hippie affectation. This joke implies you’re engaging in lofty philosophical ponderings, while also poking gentle fun at stoner stereotypes. It suggests you’re chilled out and open-minded rather than couch-bound and unproductive. Plus it diverts attention from any lack of concrete plans by appearing deep in thought.

Scrolling Through Instagram

We’ve all been guilty of wasting valuable hours mindlessly scrolling through our Instagram feeds when we really should be tackling more important tasks. Rather than denying this relatable habit, own up to it with a self-aware sense of humor. You can admit “I’ve been on Instagram doing what we all do – passively stalking and internally criticizing the seemingly perfect lives my friends and influencers portray.”

This candid confession highlights the trivial yet consuming nature of social media procrastination, while also poking fun at our inevitable tendency to compare curated highlights reels to our mundane realities. With playful self-deprecation and an acknowledgment of our shared flaws, a response like this touches on a truth most people can chuckle along with in recognition of their behaviors.

Related: Funny Answers to How was Your Exams?

Lurking in the Shadows

For a spookier response, try “Just lurking in the shadows…waiting…” This taps into playful fears about always being watched. The ominous implication you’re skulking and spying in a hidden place adds an air of mystery. It’s also funny to imagine someone crouched in a dark corner observing the outside world. It diversifies a boring activity into a dramatic image most will find amusing rather than concerning – especially if delivered in a mysteriously hushed voice!

Refreshing the Comment Sections

Admit your online procrastination habit with humor by saying “Just refreshing comment sections, stirring up drama as usual!” This acknowledges that passively scrolling is sometimes less about entertainment and more about agitating others online. The self-aware confession pokes fun at our desire to participate yet avoids confrontation negatively. Most can relate to spectating digital disputes without sincerely engaging, making this a witty “what are you doing” reply many might chuckle over.

Learning Advanced Knitting Techniques From TikTok

Rather than simply admitting to unproductive scrolling, portray yourself as actively engaged in a new hobby by joking that you’ve been “picking up knitting tricks from TikTok and trying my hand at some complicated patterns.” This acknowledges the site’s wealth of DIY instructional videos in an amusingly aspirational way.

The humor comes from picturing someone with no former fibercraft experience attempting ambitious knitting projects more for the performative aspect than any practical intent. Appearing crafty yet self-aware of your green novice skills, diverts attention from boredom by playing into social media’s influences on our behaviors. Admiring a hobby on screen doesn’t always translate smoothly to real-world execution, lending self-deprecating humor to the mental image this response conjures up.

Perfecting My Pelvic Thrusts dance moves

Admitting to practicing… dance moves could show a fun or quirky side. So say something like “Just perfecting my pelvic thrust dance moves, you know, as you do!”.

The specificity of the sexualized hip movement implies you’re embracing imperfections with silliness rather than true diligence. It invites amusement over judgment through confident yet tongue-in-cheek vulnerability. Just be aware not all humor styles resonate equally, so adjust your response based on your dynamic with the other person. Self-deprecation works best between comfortable friends.

Filing my Taxes…for Fun!

When it comes to procrastinating important chores, most of us are guilty. So own up to it with humor by quipping something like “Just getting those taxes filed for some light Saturday entertainment, you know how it is!” The absurdity of pretending such a dreaded task could be enjoyed taps into everyone’s understanding of tedious obligations.

Conveying the irony with upbeat sarcasm about activities we all loathe lets people connect through mutual recognition of our flawed tendencies to delay unpleasant responsibilities. Self-deprecating jokes that highlight relatable struggles surrounding duties none of us truly relish amusing commiserating over shared behaviors we can chuckle knowingly at together rather than judge alone.

Reheating Leftovers from 3 Weeks Ago

Admitting questionable food choices can elicit laughs. Say something like “Just reheating some leftovers from about 3 weeks ago, you know, living on the edge!” This shows awareness that borderline food decisions are sometimes made out of laziness instead of intent to live dangerously. While not suggesting anyone consume 3-week-old leftovers, joking about questionable practices we’ve all considered can build rapport through mutual understanding of flawed humanity.

Auditioning Random Household Items as Improv Props

Pretend creative commitments by quipping “I’m auditioning random household items as improv props, you wouldn’t believe the comedic gold I’m mining from this broom and empty pizza box!”

Viewing mundane objects with an imaginative eye humorously frames an unproductive activity as aspirational while subtly admitting the boredom prompting such fantasies. Relatable struggles between reality and imagination can amuse when presented playfully rather than seriously.

Brainstorming Pick-Up Lines for Extraterrestrials

Take the absurdity up a notch by claiming an outlandish hobby like “I’m brainstorming pickup lines I could use if aliens ever visit, you know, to get those cute little green girls! Like, ‘Hey baby, are you from Mars? Cuz you look out of this world…'”

Surreal scenarios few would genuinely consider lend humor through their very impracticality. Imagining fanciful situations veers conversation to more lighthearted subjects than mundanity. Just be confident others see the humor in grandiose daydreams rather than judge their validity.

Reorganizing the Spice Cabinet…Alphabetically!

Pretend productive meticulousness by responding “Oh, just reorganizing the spice cabinet…alphabetically! You’ve got to stay busy somehow during these trying times, am I right?”.

The overly fastidious classification by letter implies boredom-driven compulsions more than true organizational needs. Recognizing flimsy preoccupations as silly diversions acknowledges dull routines while keeping responses positive through silly embellishments.

Researching Historical Milliner Techniques

Claim fictional studiousness with humor by saying something like “Deep in research about 18th-century milliner techniques, you know, as one does on a weekday evening!”. This jokingly pretends esoteric period hat-making skills warrant intensive examination during casual moments. Most will chuckle at the absurdly specialized hobby implied rather than judge your factual idleness, as the hyper-specific field hints this is satire over sincerity. Relatable boredom can amuse through fantastical guises.

Planning My Dream Vacation to the Mojave Desert

Admit wandering dreams with a response like “Oh you know, just casually planning my dream getaway to the Mojave Desert. I’m thinking an unpopulated tent under the stars could be the ultimate romantic escape!”

While indulging in imaginative schemes provides an escapist outlet, this response recognizes the mundane realities that drive such elaborate daydreams.

Imagining implausible scenarios unveils frustration through humor that invites others to commiserate rather than condemn one’s situation. Lighthearted daydreaming builds rapport.

Trying to Sell My Bathwater

For cuter friends, joke “I’m working on my Etsy storefront to sell my bathwater, you know, to own those Thirsty BoysTM.” While crass humor isn’t for everyone, this one acknowledges the absurdity of viral oddities through self-deprecation.

Referencing bizarre internet phenomena few partake in frames aimlessness as silly fancying within comfortable friendships. Adding the trademark symbol further underlines this isn’t a serious business proposition, diffusing any potential discomfort through exaggerated wackiness.

Binge-Watching Obscure Documentaries

Claim studious habits with humor by saying “Oh you know, just indulging in some niche true crime docs you’ve never heard of. Gotta expand this big brain somehow!”

It portrays engaging viewing selections in an aspirational light, while playfully acknowledging such niche interests may stem more from abundant leisure time than scholarly intent.

Relatable over-consumption hinted through self-aware sarcasm builds rapport without judgment. Most find amusement in picturing what bizarre topics might warrant marathon viewing sessions between friends.

Rewatching Old Home Videos from the 90s

Own up to nostalgia by confessing “Just cringing through home videos from the 90s like any respectable millennial. You should see little Timmy’s rendition of the macarena, it’s art in its purest form.” Nostalgia tinged with secondhand embarrassment entertains through shared generational experiences. Fond recollections of innocence contrasted with modern perceptions invite chuckles over changes in tastes and selves across time. This lighthearted reminiscing builds connection without dredging up deeper emotions.

Planning My Ideal Post-Pandemic Party

Channel hopes toward happier futures by admitting fanciful plans like “Oh you know, just dreaming up the ultimate rager to throw when this pandemic nonsense is done. We’re talking moon bouncy castle, show ponies, the works! Mark your calendars for when the world decides to get its act together.” Optimism requires imagination, so letting schemes divert bored conversation maintains positivity. Relatable eagerness for normalcy’s return connects through shared longing balanced with carefree anticipation of celebratory indulgence.

Reorganizing the Spice Cabinet…Alphabetically!

For a lighthearted conclusion, reiterate an earlier response to bookend the variety of options humorously presented. “

“I’m an easy-to-please person! Something about the spices just called out to be put in A-B-C order again.”

” This ties the post full circle while acknowledging pursuing trivial tasks as silly diversions from idle hands and minds. Reiterating callbacks to familiar jokes encourages rapport through mutual amusement over predictable behaviors in ourselves and others during unstructured times.

FAQs

What if I’m busy and don’t want to joke around?

If you are genuinely occupied with an important task, by all means, feel free to give a straightforward status update instead of a humorous deflection. Not every interaction needs levity.

How do I know what type of humor is appropriate?

Read the room – consider your relationship and what you know about the other person’s sense of humor before responding. Stick to self-deprecating jokes or absurd situations rather than mean-spirited humor. Start lighter and get a sense of their comfort zone.

Will people think I’m weird if I use these responses?

As long as you deliver the response confidently and with a smiling tone to convey it’s in fun, most will see it’s meant innocently. Close friends and family should appreciate your playful spirit. Be choosy when you try these on if you’re less familiar with their humor style.

What if I’m caught without anything clever to say?

It’s okay to admit you’re still working on response ideas! You can also buy time by asking what they’re up to first or commenting on something else happening around you both. No need to overthink – light flirtation beats suspicious excuses.

Won’t people see through these responses as dodging the question?

To some degree, yes – the purpose is to joke around rather than give a totally sincere answer if you’re just scrolling in bed! As long as you’re self-aware about it and your friends have a sense of humor, most will understand you’re just keeping things lighthearted rather than revealing something you’d rather not share.

Conclusion

In closing, while being direct about mundane activities is easiest, finding humor in relatable boredom or diversions through silly imaginations can ultimately strengthen connections. Remember that friendly conversations are about enjoying each other’s company through shared laughter more than transactional status updates. So don’t be afraid to let your witty side shine through with playful responses that build comfort and rapport, even if they don’t truly answer “What are you doing?”. Wishing you many more amusing interactions ahead!